My Bad (Part II)...
Okay...now I think I have to take back any post where I expected a hip-hop radio station to take some sort of moral high-ground. As much as I love hip-hop and rap music, I'm embarassed by the dumbing down of our culture, and hip-hop is at the forefront of it.
Rap music is no longer the least bit intelligent or clever. We've resorted to making nursery rhymes with adult themes. I saw a 'brand spankin new' video just this morning on MTV. It was appalling how the entire song and the video could have come right out of Disney's pre-teen programming template. (reference Lil' Mama's "G-Slide") Some other wonderful examples of the completely non-wonderful are Gucci Mane's "Freaky Girl", and most anything from the entire T-Pain catalog.
I was pissed at hip-hop, and hip-hop radio, and fake reality shows for this trend. But then I learned I couldn't point a finger at any one thing. I learned that everyone is responsible. I learned that being retarded is not a cultural phenomenon. I learned that being retarded is definitely not a racial based problem. I learned that the curse of being utterly stupid can be shared by all. And this for this knowledge I thank Colbie Callait.
Yes, thank you priviledged white girl who has a millionaire famous father, a blandly mediocre voice and some 7th grader's book of poetry. I was so blind before, but you helped me understand so much.
As aa essay of sorts, I present to you, a conversation on certain topics that never actually happened between Miss Colbie Callait, and T-Pain. This conversation is complied of lyrics from each artist. I'm gonna flip a coin to decide on the setting. Appropriately, either a beach, or a club. But then I'm probably going to just drop the fucking coin, because after reading through lyrics by these artists I feel that even my motor skills have taken a hit. So I'll just say that our setting is a club, let's begin:
Colbie Callait and T-Pain discuss how to start a song:
Colbie: can you count me in?
T-Pain: snap your fingers do you step you can do it all by yourself.
shawty snap
shawty snap
yung joc
hey hey she snappin
she snappin
shawty snappin
shawty snap
yea
shaw
Colbie Callait and T-Pain discuss the feelings they felt about how they make each other feel:
T-Pain: got a brand new girl so I'm feeling all good inside,
Feel like I put some brand new 24's on a brand new ride.
Colbie: every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place
And it starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go
T-Pain: I'm just looking for somebody to talk to and show me some love,
If you know what I mean... Yeah... Uh-Huh...
Everybody's jockin' me as soon as I stepped in the spot,
200 bitches and i bet ain't none of them hot,
'Cept for this pretty young thang that was workin' all the way at the top...
Colbie Callait and T-Pain clearly hit it off, and then discuss where exactly Mr. Pain should ejaculate:
T-Pain: Some people like thighs
Some people like backs
Some people like booty
and ain't nothing wrong with that
Yea..aint nothing more groovy
When that stomach movin
It's the reason that I'm singing this song
Because I ain't got nothing else to bust a nut on
Colbie: wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go
wherever you go
I always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while
T-Pain: Whoaa..ohh...ohh..whoah
Rap music is no longer the least bit intelligent or clever. We've resorted to making nursery rhymes with adult themes. I saw a 'brand spankin new' video just this morning on MTV. It was appalling how the entire song and the video could have come right out of Disney's pre-teen programming template. (reference Lil' Mama's "G-Slide") Some other wonderful examples of the completely non-wonderful are Gucci Mane's "Freaky Girl", and most anything from the entire T-Pain catalog.
I was pissed at hip-hop, and hip-hop radio, and fake reality shows for this trend. But then I learned I couldn't point a finger at any one thing. I learned that everyone is responsible. I learned that being retarded is not a cultural phenomenon. I learned that being retarded is definitely not a racial based problem. I learned that the curse of being utterly stupid can be shared by all. And this for this knowledge I thank Colbie Callait.
Yes, thank you priviledged white girl who has a millionaire famous father, a blandly mediocre voice and some 7th grader's book of poetry. I was so blind before, but you helped me understand so much.
As aa essay of sorts, I present to you, a conversation on certain topics that never actually happened between Miss Colbie Callait, and T-Pain. This conversation is complied of lyrics from each artist. I'm gonna flip a coin to decide on the setting. Appropriately, either a beach, or a club. But then I'm probably going to just drop the fucking coin, because after reading through lyrics by these artists I feel that even my motor skills have taken a hit. So I'll just say that our setting is a club, let's begin:
Colbie Callait and T-Pain discuss how to start a song:
Colbie: can you count me in?
T-Pain: snap your fingers do you step you can do it all by yourself.
shawty snap
shawty snap
yung joc
hey hey she snappin
she snappin
shawty snappin
shawty snap
yea
shaw
Colbie Callait and T-Pain discuss the feelings they felt about how they make each other feel:
T-Pain: got a brand new girl so I'm feeling all good inside,
Feel like I put some brand new 24's on a brand new ride.
Colbie: every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place
And it starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go
T-Pain: I'm just looking for somebody to talk to and show me some love,
If you know what I mean... Yeah... Uh-Huh...
Everybody's jockin' me as soon as I stepped in the spot,
200 bitches and i bet ain't none of them hot,
'Cept for this pretty young thang that was workin' all the way at the top...
Colbie Callait and T-Pain clearly hit it off, and then discuss where exactly Mr. Pain should ejaculate:
T-Pain: Some people like thighs
Some people like backs
Some people like booty
and ain't nothing wrong with that
Yea..aint nothing more groovy
When that stomach movin
It's the reason that I'm singing this song
Because I ain't got nothing else to bust a nut on
Colbie: wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go
wherever you go
I always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while
T-Pain: Whoaa..ohh...ohh..whoah
posted by Charles Junk at 11:56 AM
2 comments
