Roommate Wanted

So I was considering the prospect of finding a new place to live, low-rent in a cool part of town. A friend of mine found an online ad for an apartment needing a roommate for only $210 a month! An offer you almost can't refuse, and probably one that will get plenty of inquiries.

So just like a job interview, I quickly typed up my cover letter to illicit a response to the prospect of someone who might have to live with me:

Hey _________,

I’m very interested in your craigslist post for a roommate. I’d love to check the place out if the listing is still open.

I’m a 30 year old professional male, I work in Advertising and am looking for a great low rent possibility as I’m currently going through a divorce. I’m completely sane, healthy, clean, self-sufficient, neatly groomed, housebroken and have had all my shots. I’d mention that I’m witty as well, hinting at my humorous human-to-pet references but I wasn’t kidding...I am housebroken.

I’m a musician, not much of a sports fan and could guarantee I’d be fairly benign to any roommate situation.Additionally, I have a roll of crossword puzzle toilet paper that I’d be willing to share/donate to our crib, should we find this set-up amicable. Seriously, you can do the crossword puzzle on the paper and it doesn’t matter if you make up words or not, nobody’s going to check your answers after you get #2 down.

I’d love to hear more about the space, and the area, and the person I just offered to share some toiletries with. This is my work email, I usually get this M-F 9-6:30PM. Anytime after that, I’ve got my cell on me.

Thanks man, hope to hear from you. ...Oh, I’ve attached a pic. It was carefully selected and focus-group tested so that I may appear as normal as possible to potential roommates. If that doesn’t work for ya, I’ve got a whole stack of shots of me kissing babies, and feeding the elderly.